Regret the Error

The 75th anniversary issue of Esquire currently on newsstands includes a corrections-as-humor contribution by Buddy Kite:

An article in the December 1983 Golden Anniversary Collector’s Issue-”50 Who Made the Difference: A Celebration of Fifty American Originals”-imprecisely described Dr. Benjamin Spock. Further reporting revealed that Dr. Spock had no idea what he was talking about and thus did not make as much difference as earlier believed.

The article “Latins Are Lousy Lovers” in the October 1936 issue contained an inaccurate and offensive characterization. The “Cuban technique” is more precisely described as akin to checkers, not chess.

The caption of the era-defining photograph “Harlem 1958,” published in January 1959, contained an error. The photo does not include fifty-seven of the greatest names in jazz but some folks hanging out by the 125th Street subway stop during a train delay. We regret the error.

Regarding the many letters we still receive about the multiple-choice question posed on the February 1976 cover (”This cover illustrates: a. The new James Dickey novel. b. The heartbreak of razor burn. c. The return of the hat.”): We regret that we’ve lost the correct answer and have no idea what we were talking about.

A 1997 headline stated that Kevin Spacey has a secret. The secret in question was that he loves marzipan. Sorry for any confusion.

Because of a misunderstanding, the films Spaceballs, Beverly Hills Cop II, and Dragnet were all named on the 1987 Dubious Achievements list “Worst Movies of the Year: Now Playing at the Hell Plaza Octoplex,” so now we all look like assholes.

Due to a copy editor’s misunderstanding, the headline of Tom Wolfe’s November 1963 feature “There goes (VAROOM! VAROOM!) that Kandy Kolored (THPHHHHHH!) tangerine-flake streamline baby (RAHGHHHH!) around the bend (BRUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. . . . . .” was misprinted. The correct headline was “Crrazy Kids and Their Crrazy Cars.”

This photograph was mistakenly published in the September 1995 fashion story “Urban Armor,” due to a misinterpretation of American masculinity and the father-and-son bond.

The title of the June 1964 feature “Kennedy Without Tears,” by Tom Wicker, was misleading. Smeared ink and traces of what could only have been human tears were discovered on the pages of a circulating manuscript.

Due to a printer’s error, 948 words were accidentally omitted from “Neighbors,” Raymond Carver’s first short story published in Esquire, in the June 1971 issue. Credit for Carver’s influential spare style, once attributed to a former editor at the magazine, should now be directed to a retired print manager in New Jersey.

The fashion article “Van Damme Goes Soft: A Brief Study in Cashmere,” in the November 1993 issue, contained an erroneous and unconscionable spelling: “Cashmere coats and suit jackets . . . look pretty Damme good, too.”

In the October 2006 issue, Julia Louis-Dreyfus’s second “thing” of her “Ten Things You Don’t Know About Women” (”We think it’s okay if you get fat and go bald. Please do us the same courtesy.”) contained an excessive request.

The Sexiest Woman Alive 2008, who lives in rural Kentucky, is the sister of one of our interns. However, rules prevent us from awarding the honor to an employee’s family member, so we’ll probably go with some actress/model type.

The title of this magazine, published for three quarters of a century, contains a legal infraction. Esquire is a small, regional trade publication for paralegals, not a monthly magazine for men.

EDITOR’S NOTE AND A CLARIFICATION:

For the last couple of years, our cover models have stood in front of the words, blocking them and making them difficult to read. They should have been told to take a few steps to the left or right.

Also, Frank Sinatra had chlamydia.