The latest back page humor column in Esquire features some amusing imagined corrections to the Kama Sutra. Enjoy:
Page 29:
The illustration of "Congress of the Cow" misidentifies the main
participants. The male is "Rich Prince" (not Richard Prince from
Highland, Illinois) and the female is "Compliant Servant" (not Cynthia
Servantès from Cincinnati). We regret the errors.Page 46:
In the diagram that depicts the fourth-century "Rocking Tortoise of the
Kama Sutra," the male should be declaring, "In the realm of the
pleasurable, we are now both as one; together we shall reach limits of
ecstasy never before imagined" and not "Goddamn, woman, you are
freakin’ fine!"Page 138: The
caption for "Giving Pleasure in the Back of the 7 Train" failed to
mention that the subway car must come to a full stop before one should
attempt this act and that, while not in violation of any known statute,
this maneuver will likely be frowned upon if performed in front of
tourists, the infirm, or groups of children on field trips to the local
zoo.Page 162: Due to a printer’s error, the following warning for "Pushing the Wheelbarrow" was inadvertently omitted: Do
not under any circumstances deploy this position as an icebreaker
during first dates, high school reunions, or corporate-retreat "trust"
games.The author’s dedication, "To my
loving and beautiful wife, Narendra," should have read, "To my loving
and beautiful and infinitely more limber second wife, Savita."
